The reason why financial stress hurts relationships is that each party feels that particular stress differently. Both people may know what the financial situation is but never talk about how it makes them feel daily. Don't get me wrong but who would want to talk about financial problems often? Especially if these financial issues are a recurring problem in the relationship. It's mentally and emotionally draining because in a lot of ways you're doing what you can to fix the issues. Now if the issue is a difference in spending habits then a lot of those things should have been worked out before marriage. In marriage, a difference in spending habits could be harmful to the relationship because marriage is a team sport. What affects one party affects both parties. You connected in a lot of ways including your debts and liabilities. If you didn't take the time to have a adaptive plan for tackling your financial responsibilities in the beginning it's not too late to start now. The only thing is that you must be open to making hard choices, have an open mind to new ideas, and be willing to work with your partner and not against them. The other point to that plan is to have weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly financial meetings with each other to stay informed of what's going on in the household. Financial stress is real and to ignore it is not fair to the relationship. Talk with each other about how those stressors are affecting you as an individual. By doing so you will develop that sense of feeling supported, feeling heard, feeling loved, and that you are not alone with how you feel about the stress. So make it a point to discuss financial stressors with your mate, your future self will thank you for your efforts.
